A Gift for the Sleeper
by Raberba girl
Summary: Vanitas's life in the Dive to the Heart is pretty lousy. No slash.
1. A Gift for the Sleeper

A Gift for the Sleeper

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: It's kind of hard to celebrate Christmas in the Dive to the Heart. Vanitas takes a shot at it anyway. (No slash; kind of a downer.)

333

It was not fun, living in a sleeping body.

Vanitas himself had soon regained consciousness, sensing once again that his shattered half-heart had been touched by that child, Sora. Yet he was not master of this body. The body he had been born into was destroyed, and his original one only answered to Ventus, or to the two of them together.

It frightened him too much, whenever he tried to slip into the blank brain and doll-like limbs. They did not respond to him; he was completely unable to move. The eyelids would not open, all he could see was blackness. The Chamber of Waking was silent as a tomb. His failed attempts to take control of the comatose body were too disturbing, so Vanitas had not tried in years. Instead, he hid on the Soul World pillar deep within his and Ven's fractured heart, where he had full use of his imaginary body, where the stained-glass colors glowed comfortingly in the darkness, where he could hear the sound of his own voice and the tapping of his footsteps.

He had pets. The three Floods were formed of pure irritation, and were therefore not very friendly or prone to hold still. However, if he hit them hard enough, they would get sluggish and he could hold them in his arms when he felt too lonely. He preferred that to letting the Unversed of loneliness take shape...when they were nearby, they multiplied his feelings and made him feel worse. Better to keep them inside, where their presence did not hurt quite so much.

Currently, Void, Nothing, and Empty were dancing in agitation at the very farthest side of the pillar from him. They always did this when Vanitas summoned and killed their brothers and cousins. He supposed it was not unreasonable.

"_Finally_. I swear, you guys are so useless." A lie. Without his Unversed, he would not be able to survive here with his sanity intact, if he even _was_ sane anymore.

Vanitas reached down to pick up the only traces left of the Thornbites he had just destroyed: scattered HP and munny balls, and a red prize. The HP balls he ate absently, since they restored his health whenever his body began to starve. Then he hauled the Floods over for company and began to work.

The red prize went in the middle. The spikier munny orbs needed to be arranged around it a certain way. It took several attempts, but eventually he managed to fasten the construction together with strands of his own hair. The finished product looked rather like a jeweled spider, but was still recognizable enough.

Vanitas looked at his Floods. "I bet you stupid pests can't guess what today is." He pointed. The pillar had several rows of notches that had been cut all the way around its circumference. "I've been keeping pretty good count - I can't be off by more than a few weeks. In any case, we're celebrating _now_."

The Floods hopped and skittered about restlessly.

"Do you guys remember that one town we went to, with all the snow and the fat guy in the red coat? That's where I heard this song. Here's how it goes." He began to sing, his voice echoing eerily in the empty space. _"You better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout, and I'm telling you why..."_

When he had finished all the lyrics he remembered, he smiled. The Floods danced away in alarm. "Okay. Time for presents." He bared his arms and held them out. The Floods shied away even more. Impatiently, he seized Void and dragged the creature close, shoving his arm against its mouth. It bit him, then began wriggling frantically, terrified of the usual retribution.

"Come on, idiot, I'm not gonna hurt you. Today is special. This is my gift to you."

Void bucked and writhed, then finally bit him again in desperation. He did not move. Cautiously, Nothing and Empty crept close again. Soon, all three Floods were sinking their small, razor-like teeth into their master's flesh, ripping at him with a vicious glee.

He endured it as long as he could. Finally, when the blood was running freely down his arms and the Floods were starting to nip painfully at his shoulders and neck, he shook them off. "Okay, that's enough. Hope you enjoyed it, because if you try that again before next year, I'll squash your eyes."

He got to his feet. Chewing on some spare HP balls he had saved, he walked over to the part of the stained glass image where Ven's free hand rested against his leg.

Vanitas laid down the star-shaped charm he had made, trying to position it so that it looked as if Ventus was about to grasp the thing. Then he moved to a different part of the pillar, lying down and curling up so that it was almost like he was looking into the stained glass image's sleeping face. "Merry Christmas, Ven," he whispered. "I miss you."

333

Author's Notes: This ficlet kind of brought together two ideas. One is my theory on Vanitas's fate. After thinking about it, I've decided that he's probably sleeping in Ven's body (though for the purposes of this fic, I made him conscious). The other was that I just felt like writing a Christmas-themed story about Vanitas. I'm a total Vani fangirl...I can't help trying to woobiefy him. *sweatdrop* I think it worked a lot better here than in _Now I Have One Too_, which I intend to revise so that he's not so OOC.


	2. VanShi outtake

**VanShi outtake, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl (rough draft) [censored version]**

Summary: Xion wants to know why Vanitas is so upset at the mention of Christmas gifts.

A/N: Sooooo, this was originally a scene in an unpublished fic, but I later decided that it was too squicky to include. So, um...it's an outtake now. :/ Sorry if the lack of context is confusing.

"Kaze" is the Japanese word for "wind" (I used an é here to clarify the pronunciation, as was done with Naminé in KH).

**This takes place in the Dive to the Heart, and is post-KH2.** I wrote it long before much was known about KH3D.

o.o.o

Xion followed Vanitas to his pillar, where he suddenly rounded on her. "Go away!"

"Tell me what's wrong," she said.

"Get _out_!" His Keyblade materialized in his hand and he brought it crashing down on her, but she was ready, bringing up her own Keyblade to block.

"Stop acting like a baby."

"SHUT UP! I HATE YOU!"

Their battle raged around the pillar, for he was not holding back and she could not afford to. She eventually won, of course. Vanitas, despite his considerable skill, had never won a battle in his life, and Xion was a Hero of the Keyblade. Though a little battered, she avoided the worst of his desperation attack, healed swiftly, Dodge Rolled in close, blocked, cast a Blizzard spell in a successful feint to disarm him, and then managed to prevail with a Limit the second he knocked her HP low enough in retaliation.

Knocked flying, Vanitas lay very still for a long moment. It looked almost as if the sleeping stained-glass Ven was cradling him in its hand. Then Vanitas suddenly rolled upright and retreated.

"Why are you so upset?" Xion asked again, still gripping her Keyblade.

"I'M NOT UPSET."

"Uh huh." She walked over and crouched before him so they would be on the same level, but he was still hiding his eyes from her.

"It's okay to cry, you know," she said softly.

He immediately swept his Keyblade at her. Having expected something of the sort, she blocked; he lunged, perhaps intending to pin her, but she rolled out of the way and shot a Thunder spell at the same time. He yelled as the line of electricity passed through him, and she winced in response, but knew that she could not afford to show mercy.

Xion swept to her feet and moved straight into a combo attack, raining brutal blows on him before he could recover. He did not even have a chance to cry out, and could only manage a low groan once it ended and he was allowed to collapse. Xion stabbed the Keyblade into the floor beside his head and kicked him onto his back. "Cry," she ordered.

He weakly tried to swipe at her legs; she kicked him again, this time knocking the blade out of his hand. He let out a wordless scream of rage and reached for his weapon with desperately outstretched fingers. Xion quickly dealt him a blow to the head and knelt on his arms while he was stunned, so that he couldn't move even when the Keyblade appeared back in his hand. "Stop fighting me, and stop fighting yourself. You need to cry."

"Shut _up_..."

She suddenly dropped forward and took his face in her hand, startling him into forgetting to struggle. "Vani," she said softly. "Even if it's true that you can't feel any positive emotion, it doesn't always have to be hate and rage. You're allowed to grieve, too, you know."

He was shaking. "K...Kiss me," he said.

She hesitated. Then she pressed her lips to his, and felt him flinch; he hadn't expected her to really do it. Then he was closing his eyes, arms straining against her hold as he tried to push past her lips, but she bit his tongue sharply in warning and sat back up. "No. Talk to me."

"I'll kill you." Void Gear clattered against the stained glass as Vanitas tried to get free.

"Kazé," she said, and he flinched again. She had once decided that she was never going to call him 'Emptiness' again, and the sentiment both delighted and enraged him. "So many times, people are wrong. I'm not just a worthless doll, and you're not just a vessel to hold darkness. You can be so much more, just like we've become. Don't let them define who you are, Kazé, because _it's not true_."

"If you call me that again, I'll kill you," he snarled.

"Which would make that the 23rd time you've said that. Just- just give in and show me the light I _know_ you have in you. You don't have to speak a word. Just show me."

He fought his way loose and tried to kill her. She fought back, beating him without a shred of mercy until he was finally too broken to fight back. No longer able to lift his weapon, all his Unversed slaughtered before he could do it himself and get to their healing remnants, he finally broke down out of pure frustration at his own helplessness.

"Come here," she murmured, reaching for him.

"No...!"

She pushed aside the arm he'd raised to fend her off, and held him. It was a long time before he stopped resisting, but finally the sobs came freely and he managed to get out, "I...hate...Christmas..."

"But you hate everything," she said, a little puzzled because she sensed that he really meant it this time.

"_No_!" He suddenly seized her and dragged her over to the edge of the pillar. "_Look_!"

Xion looked where he was pointing. All around the pillar's edge, in both directions as far as she could see, were rows of tally marks scratched into the stone.

"Every day," Vanitas snarled, "every time it _felt_ like a day, I made a mark. I lost count a lot and I slept a lot because I just _couldn't stand it_, but I did my best, and it was _so long_. Do you know how long I was alone?"

"Kazé-"

"SHUT UP." His mouth twisted. "I've done Christmas before. I've _done it before_." He took out something.

"Oh - that looks like a Wayf-"

"It's Ven's," Vanitas snarled. "He didn't want it."

Xion looked at him closely. He squirmed and was about to say something, anything, to shut her up, but then she said, "May I have it?"

He was shaking. "Smash it," he whispered as he handed it over.

But she held it close to her heart for a moment before tucking it carefully away. "Of course not. I'll take good care of it. You made it, didn't you?"

He looked away, fists clenched.

"It's beautiful."

~CENSORED~[VANITAS YOU ARE SUCH A FREAKING PERV *HEADDESK*]~CENSORED~

"Yet you love me anyway," she chuckled.

"To pieces."

She kissed his nose and then quickly extricated herself from his embrace, though she kept hold of one hand. "Come on."

"Siiiiigh," he said pointedly, but walked with her back to Roxas's sunset-lit pillar willingly enough.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I wrote this long before _Stepsiblings: Wind's Legacy_. Sometimes my plot bunnies get impatient when I take too long to write them, and at other times my story themes/tropes just kind of recycle themselves. :/ Not a problem for people who haven't read all my stuff, but if you have, I apologize for being repetitive...

Gah. Vanitas. Vani-freaking-tas. Seriously? As if this pairing wasn't squicky enough, then he has to start with his perv-talk, and because _I can't resist banter_, off Xion went playing along with him, and it got gross. *deletes rest of paragraph because it's not fair to talk about stuff you guys are never gonna read* VanShi's one of my favorite pairings, but it's extremely uncooperative. -.-


End file.
